As mama’s, we are constantly under pressure. Between the kids, spouses, employers, schools, sports organizations, dinner, and household duties. The list goes on and on and it wears on our mind, body and soul.
One of the misconceptions of being a mom is that we have to put everyone else first. I used to think like this and it exhausted me. I spent all of my energy on everyone else and didn’t have any left for myself. This made for a very stressed out and unhappy me.
Ladies, I’m here to tell you that you are NOT SELFISH if your spend time on yourself. You don’t love your kids ANY LESS if you do something without them. As a matter of fact, I guarantee that you will appreciate them more after some time alone.
Take it from a mama of 16 years, who’s been through it all, it’s OK to focus on yourself every now and then! There are things that you can do in your day to day life to help ease those pressures and give yourself a break.
1. Surround yourself with like-minded mamas
When they say it takes a village to raise kids, they are right! When build your village with other moms that have similar parenting, marriage and lifestyle philosophies as you, your village becomes a group of people that you trust to help care for your kids.
These like-minded mamas are the ones that will help you pick up your kids from school or soccer practice. You will help them when they are home sick and can’t make it to the baseball game or dance practice. Trusting that these mamas will help support your kids in a similar manner as you, will help your mom mind.
Like-minded mamas can also offer support from afar! Following positive mamas on social media or blogs is a great way to find a supportive online community of mamas to share experiences and provide suggestions. Start by following this blog and build a community from there!
2. Find activities to do without your kids
Whether it’s a weekly class, a walk around the block, or a night out with the girls, it’s important for moms to get out of the house and do something for themselves. Dad can handle it for a few hours while you leave the mess of the day behind and spend a few hours just thinking about yourself.
Some of the things that I have found that help me completely take my mind off the kids, house and hubby are weekly dance classes. During that one-hour that I am in class, I am totally focused on the dance moves and trying to get them right. I don’t have time to think about anything else.
I also enjoy painting classes, though these are less frequently, but are equally as fun. The same thing happens. I am focused on working on my painting and am not thinking about anything else. Paint Nite not only gets my mind on something else, but I can enjoy a glass of wine while I am doing it! If you are interested in knowing about Paint Nite events in your area, check out my recent post here.
3. Practice self-care
While we have talked about activities you can do to get your mind focused on other things, it’s equally as important to let our minds relax; long showers, reading a book, getting your nails or hair done. These are all great ways to just stop and relax.
Let me tell you ladies, I am terrible at this! I own it. I know it. When I try to do those things mentioned, my mind wanders to thinking about what I could be doing during this time. I appreciate my hair stylist because she not only does great hair, but we have great conversations as well! She helps me relax and by the time she shampoos my hair, I can actually relax.
We all need to take a moment on a regular basis and just stop, clear our minds and let our soul refresh. Nay means you can find do accomplish this, do it! You will be thankful you did!
4. Rid yourself of negative people
I have seen first-hand that not all mamas are a positive force in our lives. When you are around negative people, that energy transfers to you, even if you try to stay positive while around that them.
Be certain that if someone is saying negative things about other people to you, they are most certain saying negative things about you to other people. Sounds like high school, doesn’t it?
Make it a point to steer clear of mamas who don’t support you and bring a negative vibe to your life. Find mamas who are nonjudgmental, supportive, accept you and your parenting skills the way you are. These supportive mamas will offer advise without judgement and comfort when you truly need it.
5. Keep positive reinforcements accessible
I like to keep positive and empowering quotes in convenient places. Whether they are posted to my mirror, found when scrolling through Instagram and Facebook, or just a saying I remember, these positive reinforcements help me during my day.
Here are a few of my favorites:
Laughter is so good for the soul! When we don’t laugh we are depriving ourselves of moments to truly let go and feel happy.
The other day, I was relaxing on the couch, watching TV, and my 12-year-old son came and laid next to me. I think he had a little too much sugar earlier in the day and he kept trying to cover my eyes and laughing. I kept moving his hand and he kept putting it back, laughing. His laugh became contagious and the next thing I know he’s laughing, I’m laughing and we both can’t stop.
I realized in that moment it had been a long time since I laughed that much, and it felt so good! Laughter provides a release of stress is one of the most positive ways I can think of. I vowed at that moment to start doing things that prompt laughter; movies, tv shows, stand-up comedy, whatever!
Finding ways and time to do some of the activities above will be helpful, I promise! Let me know how you keep your Mom Mind Healthy! Leave a comment below! I’m always up for trying new things!